#i just feel so bad. i cant stop feeling bad. i cant stop feeling stupid

[xxcrumbxx]

Long ass rant and open talk about the subject

Yep yep yep . It just harm full eather youre telling someone thet there trama isnt valid bc its not the same thing you whent through or youre telling someone not to talk about theres becuse its harder to listen to. All trama is vallied,no one can tell you its stupid or not worth crying about. Sometimes the trama is more saver but thats not a medal and dusent make it more inportent then the less savere. Tragady is tragady and healing looks different for everyone. I do think its okay to talk about more and less savere tho bc trama is a spectrum and its importent fir people to know thet just becuse its more savere dusent mean they cant ir shouldent talk about it, i have the same urge to protect people from my trama bc well its a ugly thing but its still a thing that needs to be held and i feel like if ppl get there more savere storys out it could help ppl with less savere feel less like a freck and alone an show them that there not a crybaby . I feel like ppl with less savere. Trama are told not to talk about it bc no one cares or becuse everyone gose threw it or what ever bull shit resion and i feel like they should gwt a chance to speek they have just as mutch right to there story as anyone else. For me my less savere trama is that i was in a non fatle car accsadent only the car was damiged but it still really scared me and i think about it every time i get in a car now . Sometimes what couldove happend is scarryer then what did ant thats okay. And people with more suvere trama need to acknolige there not bad people for having bad things happen to them and for talking about it ,i remimber talking to some people about things that have happend in owr lives and kinda tramma bounding so i finnaly spoke up about some stuff and every one got uncomefterbull and mad at me tellinv me i was being mean and toxic bc of the trama i shared they vewed it as trying to commpet when i was trying to connect and i feel like thats what stops a lot of people from shareing there hever stuff even in open and welcoming places where its sapose to be incuriged where youre sapose to talk about it but then you do and suddenly you dont fit into there orepland box of "exceptabul to talk about tramma" qhitch isent fair all tramma is valid be it youre parents getting a devorse even tho common is a nasty and hart braking as well as life changing thing , or watching a loved one die in hoapise agin common but still harrowing or being abused heavaly growing up ,haveing less then outhers idk why people dont talk about it ( probly bc of the hole scoshial construct arond being gratefull)but being poor is tramatizeing not just bc of food lack but as well as seeing outher kid with what you want seeing all these things you want but can never have and seeing people with those things be so careless with them becuse they can just get anouther its hard to grow up poor not just bc of food and safty but becuse youre told by youre peers therw acctions or bulliying that becuse you get youre close from somewhere else or dont have the things they have or have poor hiygean bc youre famaly couldent pay the water bill ,youre told youre lesser then and should be ashaned whitch is a harsh thing to heare and can change someone for ever . Of corse more hard to talk about topics like TW

Sa ,molestashion ,phisical ,emotcinal abuse neglect ,life threataning events ,witnessing the phisical abbuse of famaly mimbers,losseng fammaly due to violince or medical issuse, involintary mental hispital stays ( irronicly) exctram iscolatshion and so mutch more

Of corse those are hard to talk about and can change youre numerological pathways or leave you emotshinoly stunted these are the tramas im refuring to when i say more savere i dont mean it as a way of saying all else are invaled when compaird i just mean they are shuned in a different way and offten chose alot of miental disorders less ssavere trammas like scoshiol and economic like TW

Devorce,absent parents ,lack of wants ,non phisicoly aggresive bullying, moveing homes abruptly or ingeneral, loss of famaly member due to old age,and so mutch more

What i think hammers in the point of commoarision being useless is i had a hard time fully desiforing the difference between savere and less saver tramma becuse well there s so minny gray areas and yah yah you can put it as "more savere trama leads to nurolojical and mental helth isuse" and "less savere tramma leads to scoshiol and familliol isuse " or what have you but its not that cut in dry like what do you mean scoshiol issuse ?? Luke they have anxiety now. Whell gess what taht means it gave them nerolajicol isues and mental helth isuse. Okay so they have trust isuse bc there parents lied to them alot ? Whell now there scoshiol structure is imbalinced and a hole outher slew of things come from it . Okay okay they have an absent father so do soo minny outhers what so bad and tramatizing about that ? Well now they dont have a trust worthy male figure in there life whitch can leed to being scared or general anxiety about men ,wemon (heare in the us ,like a comon american idk about outher places besides the midal eayst whitch i have no right to talk about bc of the sheer amout of propaganda im not a reliabule narrarator i hold no hate just ingnorince and i dont wanna be rude or assume hurtfull things due to sheer ingnerince) anyway get paid mire so they probly grew up poor with a single mouther working multibule jods becuse minamum wage cant even keep one persion happy and well taken care of so there mouthers probly streesed and stress makes people earatubule and lash out so shes probly bone or said some hurtull things so now they may have an absent father and destent mouther and maby even one wuth a drug problum . Any waylong ass exscampule but like yall get what im saying ,thaings come with so minny unmeserabule and unknown layers to compair tramma is to compair the ocean to the milky way, one feels more knowabule then the outher but bouth are so vast and all incompasing and neather are fully known or may ever be so not only is it harmuff is just plain imposabule excpeshaly becuse ower mental helth science is liemeted and beond sciense its all verry persinal and just .. Dont do it ,i bib when i was younger becuse well 1 i didnt understand what i was doing i thought the outher persion had an ojectivly better. Life them me bc little kid logic and 2 im not shure why but i felt like if i whent trew "worse" it would make me feel better like yah shure this is all awfill and will hauant me for a verry long time and ill continue to struggle with it BUT. If its worse it was real and im not a lier and its okay to cry about it. Useig trama as a tool to justafie being trammatized is not the way to go yall. I tight was a verry stupid thing to do and i regrett it deeply bu tight i cant change that. Ik outheres have done it aswell and i promise it dusent make you a bad persion ,we've all lernd and grown no need to stuff youre self in a shadow thats to small.trh not to have shame for it . Hold youre youngerselfs hand and walk them threw what youve lernd let youre self know its okay ,you are valid ,youre not a spoild brat for crying you wher a kid and stil lol may be one even if only on the inside . No worrys hun it will be okay and if not well well just have to pick are self back up agin and find the curige to start over . Atlest this time we know a little bit about what were doing and have a idea of how to get there. No one should be left behind, its importent to speek up for are selves and outhers but keep youre tone in check don tight wanna yell over anyone. Thats rude little love :]]

Sometimes im jellus of my younger sibblings becuse they have it eayser then me ( with in the home) and then i remiember all the work it took to get us heare and im sooo proud it ends with me ,the chain of generatshinal abuse ebds with me im the last The last one to purge and get rid ofandwork threw all of it its so cathartic and hartbraking but this is it i do it for them the younger and the older my anscesters and my grandchilderen its for them i am the last and its sutch a horrowing and paunfull honor im proud of my names and my anscesters im soo proud of them the more i kurn the more im gratefull, im a 6th genneratshion immogrent from france my fammaly was on the run from the cathlic church they refused to fall in line they where artest shoe makers hat makers. They worked with silver they use to be royals they where linched prosacuted as heratics some old tortcher devises where used and i think i love them for. It i love that they refuse to hold there toung and to biw there head i love that there artist like me and plenty of my liveing famaly,its nice knoweing i have a reble spark from them that im not alone in my desiers and im still so mutch like them even centures from the time they walked with the birds . I just hate i only know them by the word used to try and hurt them

The huginots :] ofc they decided to reclam it and stuff but still i know so little about them but alot as well my grunchle has picturse of documents of my grate grate grand paw and his wife requesting safty in a church both in amar INI can English and frinch ik that the fammaly was on the run long befor then i also know that i have indginus cusions whitch id love to meet i dont kniw them but i can feel it in a wierd way. Its odd and hard to talk about but i can feel it bouth and all of them i can feel my frinch ancestors as well as my indeganos and irish ones. Im verry pail tho and theres always a wierd shame that comes with it. Im the product of there downfall and it hurts . ANYWAYYY

Haha its okay its alll good. Im the last and its awsome to know no one else will suffer like this

Someone drowning in 6 feet of water is as equally dead as a person drowning in 20 feet of water.

Please stop comparing trauma and making it a challenge. It’s trauma. Not a competition or medal.

[hairydykecunt]

i have been feeling like actual shit

[triglycercule]

nightmare viewing the murder time three as little toys but more in like a little spoiled kid kinda way. because it would be funny and if you take into the account that he was like 6 before getting corrupted and do some mental loopholes it would be even funnier. like these are his dolls (killer dust and horror) and this is their barbie dreamhouse (his castle). they all have to stay in one room because nightmare needs to keep his toys in a toy box. the toys only ever come out when he wants to play but oh damn it they keep on breaking out!! silly toys,,, and then he locks them into the room again.

nightmare serves them food with plastic tea cups and plastic plates and there is no food. there is no tea. they have to imagine the food because dolls can't literally eat. there are food containers and stuff in the house but its all just a bunch of empty boxes. horror starts tweaking out after he scavenges the kitchen and finds a cereal box and milk carton that have NOTHING in it (why keep empty boxes?????)

they have to go where he wants them to go. nightmare gets to dress them up in whatever he wants because theyre his dolls they can wear anything he wants. it gets incredibly embarrassing when the trio is forced to wear pink pretty dresses and fight like that. or they have to go around the castle doing stupid fucking roleplays and it gets weird because theyre being forced to reenact a bullying scene and nightmare's giving them the death stare if they don't get it right (is this projection. this must be some form of coping mechanism dust theorizes)

and then you know nightmare's not exactly the best toy owner so he loses a few of his dolls here and there. maybe they get destroyed when he was playing a bit too rough with them! (killer dies in battle for like the 29th time) but its okay because he can just go back on down to the store (something new) and buy. wait no. steal another doll and then put it back in his dreamhouse and BOOM he has a full set again!! so sweet so cute. his dolls don't have consciousness what are you talking about theyre begging to be let go?? that's all just your imagination. what do you mean you're asking about the several slowly dying bodies with removed arms or legs in his dungeon. oh that's just where the broken but not yet destroyed toys go dw theyre fine its humane

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

[bunnihearted]

🫖🐭☁️🍚

[marsbotz]

not going to lie i do find it quite upsetting that so many ppl think that animals that arent immediately relatable to humans are completely incapable of thought or feeling. and thats the only thing that matters when it comes to animal rights arguments a lot of the time

[cerealmonster15]

haikaveh... save me haikaveh...

i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........

i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[cripplepunkfag]

god i wish i could stop fuckin thinking this i feel like such a dick i KNOW people with more obvious and more serious disabilities dont "have it better" but i cant stop thinking about it i just wish i could collapse dramatically and get rushed somewhere and magically diagnosed i feel like such a fuckin drama queen because i feel awful all the time but its just like dizziness and pain do i even have the right to claim im disabled? its not like im diagnosed. its not like i know whats wrong. its not like its serious. maybe i am just fuckin faking it.

[ashorterurl]

Kai and Aoi's tweets 11-14 June

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[cavity-collector]

i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

[sanguinewolves]

im so tired

[ditttiii]

it's every single time i give myself a minute to breathe. a minute away from people, places, distractions, running away from my reality--when the heartbreak catches up and hits me. knocks my fucking breath out.

[oozeandgoo-art]

stupid asshole who lives in my brain

[strawberri-syrup]

there are more than 130 people booked to come to the course tomorrow plus walkups and its supposed to be in the upper 90s and low 100s all day PLUS HUMIDITY and im working a double